23 June 2012

How to Maintain Femininity While Camping With a Bunch of Dudes

1. Don't try to be polite and ignore the guys' bodily functions.

Call them out. Say "ew" and "gross" and you disgust me" to remind them that you are there and that you are a girl. It doesn't mean they stop farting and burping in your presence, but at least you can maintain your dignity by establishing the fact that you aren't "one of the guys."


2. Wear a girly bandanna.

Let's face it, a surefire way to look like a lesbian trucker is to wear a bandanna.  But they're comfy and effective (and make excellent wraps for sprained ankles--you're welcome, Kyrie).  So the least you can do is make sure that your bandanna sports a dainty design of edelweiss.  And then sing about that edelweiss all day long. You may include any other songs about an Austrian family who wears curtains.  Just sing. All the time.

Here you see the difference between a standard bandanna and one with edelweiss on it.
 Ok, so there's not much of a difference at all.  It's all mental, people.

3. Bring a sun shower!

You will be ruthlessly mocked for it, but the last laugh will be yours when you smell like roses and rainbows and the guys emit the stench of a meat freezer at room temperature. It's worth being called "princess" for two days.  And extra worth it when one of the guys gives in and uses the shower.

Princess Brett showering in the morning.

Cheers to another excellent adventure in Zion!





5 comments:

  1. is your stick figure naked??? you should probably clarify that so people don't think that you showering in front of them is one of your other techniques to remind them of your femininity.

    ReplyDelete
  2. What's a sun shower?! If I had known there was a way to shower whilst camping, maybe I'd be more inclined to go.

    ReplyDelete
  3. P.S. The security code for my last comment was "traceas," which, in case you didn't know, is plural for Traci.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Where does one acquire said sun shower? And I miss you singing Edelweiss to me, oh wait, no I don't because I recoded it and listen to it every night ;-).

    ReplyDelete
  5. I love your face Sarah Holden! Maybe it was a good thing I went to bed early... :)

    ReplyDelete