Chile: Where mayonnaise and volcanoes abound

Hi e'rbody.  My deepest regrets for my prolonged absence.  But since I'm no big time blogger and I'm not making millions from Mad World and I still have a day job, I'm not that sorry.  Maybe one day I'll get there.  Maybe Mad World will be so popular that every time I have to miss a day of blogging I will have to warn my readers, like, weeks in advance, hire a guest-blogger to keep them satiated, and tweet every hour on the hour about how much I love them.  

I don't have Twitter. 

So until then...

Hola. Buenos dias. I'm back from Chile.  And for you pour souls who don't have FBoo, here are a few (a FEW) pictures to keep you from completely living under a rock (I'm talking to you, Traci).  

Lago Todos Los Santos

As you can see, it was freezing.  Way to throw off my summer, Southern Hemisphere.  The comment was made that Christmas here wouldn't be like Christmas at all.  No wonder "Feliz Navidad" sounds like something you'd hear at a BBQ on the beach.  Because that's exactly what they're doing on December 25th.

Elqui Valley.  In the desert of northern Chile.

Eating completos our first day in Santiago.

This picture may have you asking yourself, "Self? Is that mayo I see on that hot dog?"  I can answer that.  Yes that is a hot dog slathered in mayo.  And avocado.  And when I say slathered, I mean that there is literally more mayo and avocado than hot dog.  Macarena, the girl in the picture enjoying her completo, lived with my family as an exchange student when I was in high school.  She complained every day that America was making her fat. Au contraire, mon frere.  Chileans pile the mayo and 'cado on everything, at every meal.   If I ate more than one of those things (which I didn't, because it's like eating an entire jar of mayo through a straw, with the occasional sprinkle of meat) I would look like the Michelin Man's twin sister.  

What else does Chile have?  Volcanoes.  Like, 1000 of them.  And I'm anxious to go back and hike them all and explore the rest of Patagonia.  High adventure is a bit limited when your nearly-80-year-old grandmother is traveling with you.  So...someday.  Speaking of Patagonia, a shout-out to the makers of my Patagonia Nano Puff Jacket, who are probably in Vietnam and have never experienced any temperature below one billion in their life.  This jacket is amazing.  Super light and pack-able.  You can wear it on a rainy spring day and not get too warm (or wet. at all.) or with the penguins in Tierra del Fuego and not get cold.  It just knows.  It's magic. Patagonia should probably cut me a check for all the free product placement, since I basically wore that thing every single day and it makes an appearance in about 98% of my FBoo photos. 

Osorno Volcano. This is the view from our lodge in southern Chile. NBD.

What did I learn in Chile?  Quite a bit of Spanish (If I said a Romanian or French word and added 'o' to the end of it, I found I could make myself understood.  Or they just felt sorry for me.).  Also some gourmet cooking techniques.  As the only guests (I kid you not) at the lodge down south, we got pretty friendly with the staff and one night the head chef let me cook dinner with him.  Oh, and I learned that ABBA's "Dancing Queen" isn't as universally popular as I thought it was.  My two cousins and I sang it at a karaoke bar in La Serena (a beach city up north).  We got super into it.  Dance moves and everything.  I was certain they'd love us.  Who wouldn't love three American girls in a bar, which until then had only been frequented by local school teachers and fisherman looking for something--anything!--to do in a town where everyone knows their name.  Let's be real.  We had it in the bag. Right?  

We got nothing but a room full of blank stares.    

So next time I'm back in Chile, I will be singing "Give Me Just One Night (Una Noche)" by 98 Degrees.