My Racist Dog

Anyone who has met Beau knows that he is the most darling dog on the face of the planet. Often energetic to the point of psychotic.  So playful that he thinks anyone who comes over to the house is there solely to toss around his slimy dog spit ball.  He's an avid runner and champion fetcher, being half Rhodesian Ridgeback and half Golden Retriever. And the loviest, doviest, cuddliest pooch who has mastered the many facial expressions of a puppy who gets what he wants. He will love you until his dying day.  Truly man's best friend.

Unless you're Mexican.

Somewhere between being adopted as a 6-week-old pup and being raised by an adoring yet disciplining family who loves all races, ethnicities, languages, and religions under Heaven, Beau developed a sincere distaste for non-white folk. I say non-white, but I mainly refer to Mexicans, as I have never in my life seen a black person in Forest Falls, California. I don't know where we went wrong with this dog, but, unchecked, he will be the next leader of the KKKK (for Kanines...heh...heh. Bad joke?).  I claim no responsibility for his actions, but I do claim all the embarrassment as he chases after and jumps on anyone who looks like they might be a Rodriguez, Martinez, or Hernandez.

His racism goes beyond human bounds. He also hates Mexican dogs. Our neighbors to the back have a Chihuahua who Beau detests above all creatures. A stroke of compassion is the only thing that prevented him from eating the worthless brute (that Chihuahua really is the most obnoxious dog I have ever met) when he had him cornered once in our backyard.

My parents disagree with my Racist Dog Theory. My dad's rebuttal was that he chased after some lady speaking French one time.

Case in point.

Beau is not just racist. He's xenophobic.

What do I do with this beast???  Look at this face!! How can I say no??

Happy Sunday: In the Words of Charlie Chaplin

In the seventeenth chapter of Saint Luke it is written ” the kingdom of God is within man ” – not one man, nor a group of men – but in all men – in you, the people.

You the people have the power, the power to create machines, the power to create happiness. You the people have the power to make life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure.

Happy Sunday,
Sarah

An American in Paris

When it's 1:00 am and you're sitting on top of your luggage in the Charles de Gaulle Airport because you're far too cheap to pay for a hostel that you'd really only be using for about 7 hours, and you have resigned yourself to staying up all night because you don't trust what might happen should you close your eyes for 2 minutes...

...you watch My Big Redneck Wedding, a CMT gem that conveniently offers one free episode on iTunes.

Nothing says charm like a marriage in a mud bog, under a beer can arch.  And nothing says class like watching this show in Paris. This is how you feel truly American. No shame at all.

Lines...

...should be the determining factor in whether or not a country is considered "first world." The ability to create a civilized queue.  To honor order.  To respect personal space. Lines.

I wait in a line
Suffocation, no breathing
Spooning with Asians

If there's one thing that really pushes my buttons--gets my panties in a twist--shivers me timbers--it is people who don't know how to form lines. And when those same people get all up in my grill, completely ignorant of personal space, as if that is going to make the line go faster. Especially after 32 hours of trains, planes and airports, I have no tolerance for such people.

In line for passport control at LAX, home girl was seriously pushing her luck. There were veritable acres of free space around us. Room enough to do a set of 10 cartwheels. She could have stood anywhere.  But some neanderthal, barbaric instinct in her made her stand right up against me. I would inch up. She would follow. This went on for a couple minutes until I couldn't handle it anymore and started inching backwards, backing up into her. I still don't think she got the point.

Below, the white dotted line designates my personal bubble. IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK??? AM I REALLY THAT DEMANDING??? 

On the Olympics

Thoughts and observations during the first week of the 2012 Summer Olympic Games.

-Roger Federer has beautiful hair.

-The position of middle ball girl/boy on the back wall of the tennis court should be an Olympic sport of its own.

-The underwater cams used in Men's Water Polo are disturbing and completely unnecessary.

-To my dismay and severe disappointment, the one broadcasting company in Romania that covers the Olympics for some reason hates beach volleyball and loves fencing. Kind of depressing.

-Swimmers are always forced to present themselves on the podium and be praised and applauded directly after exiting the pool, looking often like wet rats.

-Nevertheless, this wet-rat syndrome doesn't seem to affect the men of Team USA, who are clearly carrying genes of demi-gods.

-No matter they just accomplished one of the greatest feats of athleticism, the fame of Olympic athletes is solidified the moment they are tweeted about by Justin Bieber or Lady Gaga.

-Women weightlifters are not actually women.

-Rowing events would be a million times more exciting if they were being chased by man-eating sharks.

-China definitely traffics child slaves to win medals. Their ages are more and more dubious each Olympics. 

 "I root for anyone who is playing against a North Korean. 
Mean, I know, but I just hate that horrible regime and
don't want any glory for that country and it's current despot.
I'm not crazy about China either as I just don't trust them." -My Mom

Happy Sunday: The Work Goes Forth

This week's Happy Sunday post is devoted simply to this darling couple and the work on which they are about to embark, as well as to the other stalwart members of the Church here in Romania.

Brother and Sister Radu are Romania's first senior couple to serve a mission.  They have been called to serve in the Bern, Switzerland LDS Temple for 2 years, starting tomorrow.

My heart is so full of joy, seeing this sweet couple dedicate their time, money, and energy to serving the Lord and His children. They are a tremendous example to the other members here in Romania, and evidence that the Church truly has grown and developed since entering these borders in 1990.

There are so many wonderful, faithful members in this country.  The Radus, I'm sure, are the first of many senior couples from Romania who will go forth to share the gospel as represents of the Lord Jesus Christ.

And this is Andreei, a young man from Ploiești who was here in Cluj a couple weeks ago for a joint Cluj-Ploiești youth activity.  At the activity, he showed off his own "I'm a Mormon" video that he made himself.  This video alone speaks volumes to the incredible faith and strength of the youth here. Andreei is currently waiting for his mission call and undoubtedly will serve with all his heart, might, mind, and soul wherever he is called.




And ye shall go forth in the power of my Spirit, preaching my gospel, two by two, in my name, lifting up your voices as with the sound of a trump, declaring my word like unto angels of God. (D&C 42:6)

Happy Sunday: We Seek After These Things

In the LDS Church we have what are called the 13 Articles of Faith.  These articles were written by the prophet Joseph Smith in a letter to Chicago Democrat editor John Wentworth, as a response to his question: "What do Mormons believe?"

I'd like to devote a few inches of blog space to the 13th Article of Faith, which reads as follows:

We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul--We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and we hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report, we seek after these things. 

Ok yeah, so I saw Magic Mike last night, which basically violates every word of the 13th Article of Faith. Don't get me wrong, Channing Tatum.  You are lovely. But you are as far from virtuous as Tug O' War is from being an Olympic sport (oh wait...).  My naivete strikes again! Next time I see that a movie is about male strippers, I won't assume the best and fancy the idea that perhaps it is about male strippers finding Jesus  or male strippers teaching blind children to play the piano. I'll just accept that it is about male strippers...stripping.

By means of repentance I tried to extract any shred of moral goodness that could possibly be found in this movie.  That failed.  So I nursed my bruised conscience by reciting the 13th Article of Faith in my head.  It really is a good one. And perhaps the easiest to forget.  How often can our entertainment, topics of conversation, etc. be constituted as praiseworthy and virtuous?  I'll throw out a completely fabricated statistic and say about 30% of the time, or less.

Little children are far better at living the 13th than anyone else. They are so pure and think and act so purely. I mean, look at these kids!  They're brilliant and angelic in so many ways.  Watch this. And then consider your personal devotion to seeking after honest, virtuous, lovely, chaste things.

Oh, and Happy Sunday.